White Lines


Maybe they’re preparing for the Apple phone. Or perhaps there is a shipment of ‘Banokia’s’ (see below) due in. We single out for a special round of applause the excellent blue point-of-sale poster: ‘Fruit 4U’ (sic).

Christian aid

Hallelujah – the Devil’s invention is now doing the Lord’s work. Welsh company Teimo is now flogging religious ringtones, prayer texts and Biblical wallpapers to God-fearing Christian folk who want to use their mobile to zip their prayers on through to the Big Guy.

Wallpapers includes ‘Christian kids with purple cross’, and a cartoon tomb accompanied with the words ‘He’s alive!’ (and presumably trying to get a signal to summon help).

Ringtones offered are ‘Bread of Heaven’ and ‘Guide Me Oh Thou Great Jehovah’.
Teimlo head of marketing Erik Fok (crazy name, crazy guy) reckons “the market for Christian content on mobile phones hasn’t been well served. There are young Christians out there who want this kind of thing for their phone”.

White Lines wonders if hormone-ravaged Facebooking adolescents are probably more concerned with receiving more modern content (see quickflirt.com).

Whatever – the young Christians who want this kind of spiritual upload will still have to pay to soothe their soul. Downloading Bible quotes cost a hefty £6. Wonder if that includes 1 Timothy 6:10 – you know, the bit about the love of money being the root of all evil.

Free training

It would normally cost you upward of £500 to attend a day’s training course with mobile industry training specialist Nvest.

But you can attend ABSOLUTELY FREE. There’s no catch.

Our sister magazine Fone has done the deal of the year with Nvest to offer a free, one-day accredited sales training and development courses to dealers.

You’ll learn the tricks of handling customers from opening to closing a sale. See the application form inside Mobile News or email academy@fonemag.co.uk

Oh, did we mention it’s free?

Pregnant pause

Marie Claire magazine asked women’s gadget website Popgadget to design the ultimate mobile handset for women.

The resulting fantasy ‘shePhone’ has pill storage, a condom dispenser, vibrator, corkscrew, atomiser for perfume (or pepper spray), a pregnancy tester (eeugh) and ‘voice analyser’ that tells whether a husband or boyfriend is telling fibs about his location (as if).

In response, male chauvinists at Mobile News Towers have come up with their own specs. How about an anti-nag decoder to transform continual whining into the music track of your choice? And we’d love an anti-argument key that terminates a call when the little woman decides to go off on one for no reason at all…

Shirt lifter

Following the big Advantage launch in Didcot a fortnight ago, Talk Me Through It (TMTI) MD Crispin Thomas went out for dinner with Advantage MD John MacFarnon.

It was noted at breakfast the next morning that MacFarnon’s shirt was covered in dinner medals. So ‘Posh Bloke’ Thomas generously lent him a new Hugo Boss shirt from his extensive selection of expensive garments.

The crafty Scot has apparently failed to return the shirt, despite numerous requests, and Thomas has now brought in investigators to recover the missing chemise.

“Once again, MacFarnon has had the shirt off my back and taken me to the cleaners,” said Thomas, still basking in the glow of TMTI’s 77th placing in the Sunday Times ‘Top Tech 100’. Perhaps he can call in the rozzers to feel MacFarnon’s collar.