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An industry source told Mobile News Doughty Hanson expected a lot more bang for its buck and saw red when the budget sheets weren’t adding up. So they wheeled in some baby-sitters from management consultants Bain & Company (“we help management make the big decisions”) at an unbaby-sitter-like rate of £150,000 a week.

Not surprisingly, Master Ryan (pictured) was not best pleased a bunch of 28-year-old MBAs in suits were telling him how to run the business and invoked Paragraph 3, sub-section XV of his contract headed “You Must Be Blankety-Blank Joking – I’m Blankety Blank Outta Here”.

Thus, the story so far: Flash City Boys pay £1.46 billion for top mobile distributor and its management, then send in more Flash City Boys to tell the team which made it the business worth £1.46 billion in the first place how to do their job.

I know what you’re thinking. If the £150,000 a week consultants are so brilliant, how come they aren’t in charge of their own companies? Answers on the back of a signed cheque made payable to “Bain & Company”.

Confessions of a mobile hater

She may be one of Hollywood’s biggest stars, but that didn’t stop Keira Knightley making her mobile walk the plank.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star once owned a BlackBerry handset for emails, but decided it wasn’t for her and chucked it into the ocean.

She told Elle: “I went, ‘Oh my God’. I want to be eco-friendly but I’ve chucked a mobile in the sea. I fished around but couldn’t find it, so I had to leave it.”

The actress went on to say: “I hate my mobile. It rings and I realise I don’t want to talk to anyone, so I press ignore.”

What if that call was to be the new Bond girl, or another Pirate’s sequel for another clinch with Orlando Bloom? We think Keira should think twice about being a grumpy phone person.

A Black day for RIM

BlackBerry manufacturer Research in Motion (RIM) has taken LG to court in the US, claiming similarities between its product name and LG’s Black Label line.

The word ‘Black’ is just about where similarities end – with LG’s Black Label handsets, the Chocolate and Shine, bearing very little resemblance to anything the Canadian manufacturer has produced.

Most punters probably don’t even realise their Chocolate or Shine is even made by LG, let alone come under the swanky title of Black Label.

So understandably, the law suit for alleged patent infringement was settled without too much ado.

Yeah baby! It’s Dunstone

Carphone master of ceremonies Charles Dunstone almost missed his 18:02 deadline on November 9 with that old commuter’s excuse: gridlock in the City and London dri­v­ers. Except said jam involved just one car (his) and one driver (his).

Dunstone, due at Carphone’s flagship store in London’s Oxford Street to handle the sale of Carphone’s first Apple iPhone, was spotted in London’s financial district in a black Lexus, complete with ‘CPW’ licence plate, headed towards Chez Gerard on Watling Street.

His driver had a “look of total indecision on his face”, said our mole. “He looked lost. It was one step removed from the scene in Austin Powers where he’s trying a three-point turn.”

Pub quiz text cheat shocker

Hold the front page – pub quiz punters are using text messages to cheat.

The ‘revelation’ came to light when Asda Mobile noticed regular increases in the number of texts being sent between 8.30pm and 10.30pm on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings, the evenings when the majority of pub quizzes are held.

To uncover the truth, Asda picked the brains at Quizzing.co.uk, who confirmed its suspicions and revealed the average score required to win a pub quiz has increased over the past decade due to text cheats.

But why keep texting, when you can now use Google on your mobile? I bet that’s going to make us all pub geniuses.

 

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