Three gets comedian to pen break up letter for Vodafone customers

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Vodafone declines to comment on Three marketing ploy

‘Challenger’ operator Three is likely to have put a few noses out of joint at Vodafone by offering customers a contract ‘break up’ letter to send to the operator from comedian Rufus Hound.

A small number of Vodafone customers have until June 28 to cancel their contracts without penalty after the operator announced price rises in mid-May. Recently laid down Ofcom rules state that any price rises on contracts which started this year allows the customers to leave and take their handsets with them.

Three has decided to capitalise on the last few days of the window by getting Hound to write a letter template which they can send to Vodafone with their signature on it.

A Vodafone spokesperson said the issue only affected a small number of customers whose bills had risen by more than ten percent and that they were committed to fixing line rental prices for customers. They had no comment on Three’s promotional tactic.

The letter template is available from Three’s blog, a copy of which we have posted below.

Vodafone House,
The Connection, Newbury, Berkshire
RG14 2FN

Dear Vodafone,

The end. Such a hard thing to start, no? Far more difficult than the beginning. Beginnings are so full of… Promise! Discovery! Excitement! But endings? Endings force us to accept that none of those things were enough. We were kidding ourselves. That the 2L bottle of ice-cold cola we brought to life’s picnic is now a half- finished flagon of flat, warm, syrup; topless and unwanted. The waste enkindling guilt. A thing for wasps.

It’s no surprise to me that we run to our record collections in these times. Sheltering from an unknown future in a familiar past. In 1979 two things were born. One was me. The other? Barbara Streisand & Donna Summer’s seminal “No More Tears”:

“I had no choice from the start, I’ve gotta listen to my heart, tearing us apart. Enough is enough is enough.”

Wise words. Wise, disco-y words. Maybe you thought that by increasing my phone bill I’d be too broke and broken to look for someone else. Someone better.

Or maybe you just weren’t thinking of me at all. God – that’s just so you.

Any chance we had to get things back on track disappeared a long time ago. I’ve been putting up with this for too long. I’m at a point now where I look back at all the things you’ve done and don’t feel angry – just sad that I lacked the self-respect to say “No more” sooner.

Well, no more.

Tear up that contract. Delete my email address. It’s over. 

It’s. Just. Over

I ______________ (insert name) and mobile number ____________ therefore hereby terminate my contract with Vodafone as of _____________ (insert date)

Signed ____________________________

1 COMMENT

  1. I can only assume that Rufus Hound has never been a Three customer in his life? It would take a lot more than a sarcastic letter to get a PAC Code from Three, it took me 5 phones calls and the threat of being reported to Ofcom to get my PAC Code from Three – one of the worst companies I have ever had to deal with. Three! Your customer service is truly abysmal.

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